TV Licensing – I Don’t Even Have a Telly

DCR would like to thank Keith Hunt for submitting the following letter he wrote to TV Licensing after Amazon tipped them off that a TV had been delivered to Keith’s work address. Quite why Amazon would be in cahoots with a government agency is anybody’s guess

TV Licensing Office


Dear Sir.

Thank you for your TV licence [1] demand which I am returning.

Yes, indeed I did purchase a free-view box from Amazon as a Christmas present for my son and yes, it is almost working very well, thank you for asking. There are some channels missing however so could you look into that for me please?

I merely had the box delivered to my work address.

This was because

a)  traditionally, as I am led to believe, presents at this time of year are supposed to be a surprise and

b)  because of my son’s tendency to be nosey when parcels are delivered to my house.

You are very welcome to send an inspector to check that I have no TV here at work. Please note that our office opening hours are 9.30-12.30am and 2.15-4.30pm Monday to Friday. This obviously rules out any thought of an SAS style dawn raid on your part, or in fact a dirty weekend in Brighton. Sorry about that. However, If you could give me a little bit of notice, I’ll make sure the kettle is on for him/her.

While he/she is here, if they could persuade my boss to actually have a TV installed in my room I would be very grateful. An 84 inch plasma set with DVD and surround sound would be perfect if they could mention that to him while here, and ideally too, if I could get it in time for the World Cup next year.

After having spent so much money on the set, I’m sure that he won’t mind paying the licence fee too and therefore your demand for £142.50 will suddenly look very reasonable in the grand scheme of things.

For that amount of money I would rather expect not only to be allowed to view current programming but also to have at least a guest appearance on ‘The Life of Mammals’ alongside David Attenborough.

Thank you for keeping in touch.

Yours Sincerely



[1]  For our overseas readers:  We Brits are obliged by law to purchase a TV license before we are allowed to watch any television.  Seriously!.  The annual license costs £145.50  ($220 – updated at July 2013) and the proceeds from this are used to fund the British Broadcasting Corporation (the BBC, affectionately known as the Beeb).  Watching only non-BBC channels does not avoid the license fee however.


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2 thoughts on “TV Licensing – I Don’t Even Have a Telly”

  1. All retailers are required by law to inform TV Licensing when they have sold or rented a TV to someone. It is not an “Amazon” thing, but it is fairly obvious that they allowed computers to send out the letters rather than actual human beings.


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