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For American readers: Ryanair is an Irish airline which began with a single route from Waterford, Ireland, to London and has grown such that it now operates over 300 aircraft serving 28 countries generating revenues of over €4bn ($5.5bn). Its CEO is Michael O’Leary (pictured at the top) is quite possibly the least popular businessman in Western Europe. In the past he has proposed aircraft without seats and charging passengers for using the restrooms. The airline is regularly chosen as the worst carrier in Europe. ↩
For American Readers: Bratislava actually exists, and has done for over 1,100 years. It is presently the capital of Slovakia but has previously been in both Hungary and Czechoslovakia. That doesn’t mean that the city has moved however. If it had, Ryanair wouldn’t have been able to find it. ↩
For American readers: The M25 is London’s famous orbital motorway, also known as the world’s largest car park and the devil’s greatest achievement. ↩
For American readers: I believe that Gimp in this context is intended to be a British urban slang implication that someone is incompetent or stupid rather than meaning that the person is a sex slave or submissive, as popularlised by the movie Pulp Fiction. ↩
For American readers: Man Utd is of course the short form of Manchester United, the English football (oh alright, soccer) team that David Beckam played for before he came to LA Galaxy. David Moyes replaced Sir Alex Ferguson CBE as manager lest year and everything immediately went Pete Tong (wrong). Moyes was recently sacked by the club. ↩
For American Readers: Surely you can guess what tinkle means ↩
For American readers: Fat is a relative term. UK ‘fat’ is USA ‘of average build’. James is not from Mississippi. ↩
For American readers: Vauxhall is our bit of the General Motors Group. The Corsa is a very small car which is relatively cheap to insure so teenagers traditionally begin their car crashing careers driving this model. ↩
For American readers: Tower Hamlets is a London Borough, East of the City of London and North of the Thames. Police dogs patrol the area in pairs. ↩
For American readers: VAT is value added tax, a UK federal sales tax. A VAT return therefore is the document submitted to the government in which you try to hide most of your sales. ↩
What I’m reading here is, that this condescending cheapskate can’t get out of bed early enough to be on time for a flight on his his own wedding day. Yet somehow, it’s the airline’s fault for not paying for his mistake and bs! Typical entitled irresponsible passenger.
That has got to be the best thing I’ve read in years.. you’ve really made my year with that description of hell flying with Ryan air.. there are tears of laughter rolling down my face
I wish I could shake your hand.