This letter, supposedly written by NASA to Jamie Jones rejects his suggestions for a new form of rocket propulsion based on mixing Mentos1 mints with Coca Cola and also his application to join the astronaut training programme2 It was in fact written by Jamie himself (@JamieDMJ on Twitter) and Steven Malkovitch doesn’t actually work at NASA at all.
That doesn’t make the letter any less funny though!
November 15th 2013
Dear Mr. Jones,
We thank you for your interest in our work. Unfortunately though, we have no interest in your attached sketch entitled ‘A Breakthrough in Awesome Space Rockets, Now Give Me Some Money‘. We’ve long been aware of the science behind the reaction that occurs between Coke and Mentos, so believe us when we say that there’s no practical use for it in our work – even if we did use “a shit load of Coke“, as you so eloquently put it.
Regarding your application, if it can be called that, to become a ‘spaceman‘, we regret to inform you that we’re not looking for anyone at the present time. Besides, it takes years of hard training to become an astronaut and is not, as you suggest, “…something so simple a chimp has done it“. To learn more, we suggest you read up on your so-called idol Buzz Aldrin, who we assume you were referring to when writing Buzz Lightyear.
Due to the security concern caused by their attachment, we weren’t able to return the mints you glued to your original letter.