David Wilson Homes – How Not to Build a House

David wilson homes and Bob

I wrote this letter 18 years ago to David Wilson Homes in a failed attempt to get them to put right defects with my new house. It didn’t work, they didn’t give a damn. It must have cost them a fortune.

M&S: Steak and Kidney Puddings

M&S steak and kidney complaint

This complaint concerns a pneumatic M&S Steak and Kidney Pudding which contained a lot of air but very little in the way of steak and kidney…

The Express Dairies Milkman and The Rocket Launcher

I have considered setting my alarm for 01.45am and lying in wait for him but I just don’t think I would be able to confront him without stuffing a few token bottles of silver-top (and possibly a milk crate) where the sun doesn’t shine.

David Wilson Homes – How Not to Build a House

David wilson homes and Bob

“Mr. Guttering’s unique installation on the rear elevation is a lesson to us all in how to piss-off a homeowner. Not only has he managed to leave a huge gap through which all the rainwater flows (making the downpipes entirely superfluous) but he has also managed to put it directly over the fibreglass mock-lead roof of the dining room below! Whenever it rains, it sounds like we have the entire Nagasaki Drum Ensemble rehearsing in the Dining Room”.