LIDL – The Wookiee at the Checkout

DCR is endebted to Mrs M.W. of Derby sent in a letter penned by her husband to the German discount supermarket chain LIDL back in 2009 before they were in every town in the UK. Alas, they still haven’t replied. So much for German efficiency.

Mind the GAP…. in Our Service

“The top secret information held at the corporate offices is of course the GAP copy of the world atlas. After all, there are just over 307 million Americans and only 126 of them have been abroad (mainly to Stratford upon Avon)”.

Tesco: Who Stole the Macaroni?

“Usually, Spaghetti Bolognese has some spaghetti in it. Potato Lyonnaise more often than not contains some potato. There are exceptions of course – Shepherds Pie and Toad in the Hole spring to mind – but for the most part, the name of these prepared foods is generally a very good guide as to the principal ingredient”

Ibuprofen Liquid Capsules: Easy to Swallow?

“This all seemed like an awful lot of trouble to swallow an “easy-to-swallow” capsule. It occurred to me that it may actually be a great deal easier to introduce the capsule into the gastro-intestinal tract from completely the opposite end! A quick dab of Vaseline and hey presto!”

Starbucks: A Global Pandemic of Mediocrity

starbucks defaced cup

“I’ll never forget queuing very early one morning in a Starbucks near Union Square in San Francisco with all the flakes and hookers – they made the cast of ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’ look like a bunch of Nobel prizewinners – and the barista looked at me like I was the crazy one just because I’d ordered a Quadruple Tall Latte”