Claire’s: The Thong-Flasher of Pigeon Poo Island

Claire's Accessories collage

Back in August 2014, Matt Jarvis went shopping with three generations of female members of his family (which is a brave thing to do by any standards). However, when the ladies decided to pay a visit to Claire’s, he wisely decided to stay out of the way…. which ended up being much more interesting!

EasyJet: A Christmas Clusterf@@k

easyjet santas

This letter was written by Rannoch Yule and thanks to EasyJet, yule-tide was when everything went completely Pete Tong for Rannoch……

Dear Santa…

Dear Santa

“And then there’s the Christmas turkey. Why in God’s name do hundreds of millions of people eat this pug-ugly and completely tasteless bird on the same day each year? Why, for instance, don’t we eat penguins? There are millions and millions of them. David Attenborough said so”.

No Room at the Inn

Just in case anyone gets the wrong idea, this travel complaint isn’t genuine. The Travel Agency doesn’t actually exist (at least I hope not!).

Trouble at the Airport : the Car Park Stasi

airport stasi

Humberside Airport fined me £100 pounds for stopping on an airport road for just 31 seconds – that rate is enough to hire 29 100-foot super-yachts in Antigua! I wasn’t having any of that!

Checkers: Bacon Philly Cheese Steak – A Study in Minimalism

Checkers Philly Cheese Steak

Dear Customer Relations has become well known for its footnotes ‘For American Readers’ which seek to explain the finer points of UK English and place names to our American cousins. For this remarkable letter written by Tam Tran to US fast food chain, Checkers, the boot is on the other foot.

Merseyrail: A Giant Spectacular Cock Up

Merseyrail cock up

Tony Cliffe’s vitriolic rant to regional rail operator Merseyrail after they decide to mark one of the busiest days in their history by using smaller trains

EDF: Who Defrosted Uncle Fred?

EDF complaint body in attic

A power cut lasting three days is inconvenient enough but when you have a body in the freezer in the loft, things can get decidedly unpleasant….

Lloyds TSB: For the Journey… to Hell!

Lloyds TSB collage new

“Goodbye and good riddance you unworthy collection of freeloading, avaricious, scum-encrusted bastards”. .A truly visceral rant to high street bank Lloyds TSB containing more negative adjectives than you can shake a cheque book at. Catharsis at its very best.