Ibuprofen Liquid Capsules: Easy to Swallow?

“This all seemed like an awful lot of trouble to swallow an “easy-to-swallow” capsule. It occurred to me that it may actually be a great deal easier to introduce the capsule into the gastro-intestinal tract from completely the opposite end! A quick dab of Vaseline and hey presto!”

Starbucks: A Global Pandemic of Mediocrity

starbucks defaced cup

“I’ll never forget queuing very early one morning in a Starbucks near Union Square in San Francisco with all the flakes and hookers – they made the cast of ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’ look like a bunch of Nobel prizewinners – and the barista looked at me like I was the crazy one just because I’d ordered a Quadruple Tall Latte”

Is it a Car or is it a Sauna?

“The driver’s window goes on strike again. There you are, cruising along the motorway. Your left side, in the full blast of the broken heater, is slowly cooking to a perfect medium rare. Your right side is immersed in a torrent of freezing cold water hitting you at 70 miles per hour”.

The Express Dairies Milkman and The Rocket Launcher

I have considered setting my alarm for 01.45am and lying in wait for him but I just don’t think I would be able to confront him without stuffing a few token bottles of silver-top (and possibly a milk crate) where the sun doesn’t shine.

Northern Rock: the World’s Worst Website

northern rock

“You have a website that doesn’t work with the world’s largest and utterly industry standard computer operating system. The website of the UK’s ninth largest bank goes tits-up on every single new computer sold in the world today. I defy anyone to find a more mind-blowing example of commercial stupidity”.

David Wilson Homes – How Not to Build a House

David wilson homes and Bob

“Mr. Guttering’s unique installation on the rear elevation is a lesson to us all in how to piss-off a homeowner. Not only has he managed to leave a huge gap through which all the rainwater flows (making the downpipes entirely superfluous) but he has also managed to put it directly over the fibreglass mock-lead roof of the dining room below! Whenever it rains, it sounds like we have the entire Nagasaki Drum Ensemble rehearsing in the Dining Room”.