The World's Best Funny Complaint Letters
One of our charming local airports once fined me £100 pounds for stopping on an airport road for just 31 seconds. That’s over £11,000 an hour! That, I calculated, was enough to hire 29 100-foot super-yachts in Antigua! Or a private jet – a big private jet!
Well, I thought, that’s a bit over top.
So off I went to my keyboard…
Jeffrey Lambert from Toronto had not heard about the powerful laxative effects of Haribo’s sugar-free Gummy Bears. Nor had the nice folks in airport security who decided to do an intimate search just as Jeffery was wishing he had paid more attention!
DCR is endebted to Mrs M.W. of Derby sent in a letter penned by her husband to the German discount supermarket chain LIDL back in 2009 before they were in every town in the UK. Alas, they still haven’t replied. So much for German efficiency.
A few years ago, I had a holiday in the Greek Islands – and very nice it was too. Usually after a holiday, I would be complaining to airlines or hotels but this time, I had a very unusual experience involving a faulty cigarette lighter….. and my testicles!
Yet another complaint to an Australian telecoms giant. This time, it’s Kogan Technologies that are in the firing line in a letter featuring ice cream theft and an invitation to the movies…
This very long exchange with costume jewellery retailer Pandora was submitted by Stephen Crowley. The Pandora Saga is an epic tale, featuring wizards, elves, orcs, a turkey… and a baboon’s bottom.
You might want to put the kettle on before you read it…
“And then there’s the Christmas turkey. Why in God’s name do hundreds of millions of people eat this pug-ugly and completely tasteless bird on the same day each year? Why, for instance, don’t we eat penguins? There are millions and millions of them. David Attenborough said so”.
Just in case anyone gets the wrong idea, this travel complaint isn’t genuine. The Travel Agency doesn’t actually exist (at least I hope not!). When Joseph got home to Nazareth, he wrote a complaint about The Inn at Bethlehem….
Fog on the lines, drizzle and farting dogs are all it takes to cause power outages in Nova Scotia. Janet Lunn couldn’t take any more after 82 hours without electricity.
Ian MacLeod wrote this latest funny complaint letter after his new mouthwash kept removing nasty gunk from his mouth, time after time after time… “Well, could YOU go to bed knowing your mouth was a biological chemical plant to rival any that Hans Blix never found in Iraq? I certainly couldn’t….”