Trouble at the Airport : the Car Park Stasi

airport stasi

One of our charming local airports once fined me £100 pounds for stopping on an airport road for just 31 seconds. That rate, I calculated, was enough to hire 29 100-foot super-yachts in Antigua! Or a private jet for a week – a big private jet! Well, I thought, that’s a bit steep!

Gummy Bears – Explosion in Airport Security!

Jeffrey Lambert from Toronto had not heard about the powerful laxative effects of Haribo’s sugar-free Gummy Bears. Nor had the nice folks in airport security who decided to do an intimate search just as Jeffery was wishing he had paid more attention!

LIDL – The Wookiee at the Checkout

DCR is endebted to Mrs M.W. of Derby sent in a letter penned by her husband to the German discount supermarket chain LIDL back in 2009 before they were in every town in the UK. Alas, they still haven’t replied. So much for German efficiency.

Goodness Gracious, Great Balls of Fire…

ronson complaint

A few years ago, I had a holiday in the Greek Islands – and very nice it was too. Usually after a holiday, I would be complaining to airlines or hotels but this time, I had a very unusual experience involving a faulty cigarette lighter….. and my testicles!

Dear Santa…

Christmas bat and baubles

“And then there’s the Christmas turkey. Why in God’s name do hundreds of millions of people eat this pug-ugly and completely tasteless bird on the same day each year? Why, for instance, don’t we eat penguins? There are millions and millions of them. David Attenborough said so”.

No Room at the Inn

no room at the inn collage

Just in case anyone gets the wrong idea, this travel complaint isn’t genuine. The Travel Agency doesn’t actually exist (at least I hope not!). When Joseph got home to Nazareth, he wrote a complaint about The Inn at Bethlehem….

EasyJet: No Fun in Funchal

esayjet complaint

This is the incident that sealed my hatred of Easyjet. Up until this point, they were just crap. When they’d cancelled my flight to Madeira in 2010, I was introduced to the unbelievable world of Easyjet Customer Relations – a strange place, staffed by people with strange names and an uncanny ability to avoid saying anything useful…

IKEA Expedit: A Weekend of Adventure

ikea expedit new jersey

Keith Snyder wanted a grey Expedit bookshelf. IKEA sold him a black one. He couldn’t get back to the New Jersey store so he decided to build it anyway. That’s when the real problems began…

CBeebies Bedtime Hour

CBeebies bedtime collage

This complaint to the BBC television channel CBeebies was penned by Matt Coyne, author of the hilarious book, ‘Man vs Toddler – The Trials and Triumphs of Toddlerdom ‘. It takes issue with the BBC’s scheduling of ‘Bedtime Hour’ at 6.00pm.

Joe Lycett: Caught Short at Euston

joe lycett euston 2

Comedian Joe Lycett faced imminent disaster at Euston Station following a dodgy prawn masala. But the station loos required an entry fee of thirty pence…. So what did he do? He emailed the CEO of Network rail asking for help…